Isaac’s teaching continues –
Question: The meditation prayer you gave us – “Merciful Father, have mercy on me” – can you please tell us more about that?
“Harachaman rahem alai.” The prayer centers on the concept of “Rahamim,” which means balance. Not only balance but a kind of mercy that has intelligence and love.
Chesed (loving-kindness) always says “yes,” and Gevurah (discipline, strictness) says “no.” Gevurah makes good rules to follow. But as time goes by, old rules might be outgrown. Times change, and what may have been a good rule becomes less suitable.
Rahamim is able to see what is appropriate each moment and apply the best response. It is a blend of any amount of Chesed or Gevurah to fit the situation.
When we ask for something, of course we like to hear “yes,” but sometimes it’s actually more merciful for God to say “no.” The reply depends on the larger picture.
In the world before this one, the ancient world of “Tohu,” there was great contrast. Things were either complete sweetness or total restriction and destruction. A world of extremes. Things were black or white, no shades of grey. This contrast was too much for our vessels. The vessels shattered. It was chaos.
Then came the next chapter in the cosmic dream, the world of “Tikkun” (“repair”), where we are now. Here you can have very cold water and very hot water mixing together into the sink. This we can handle. Our vessels can handle this blending much better.
Rahamim allows this blending. Every response may be a different blend of hot and cold. Rahamim mixes Gevurah and Chesed. It’s a mixing bowl.
Rahamim is the very quality that lets us repair the world.
So when we use this prayer, “Harachaman rahem alai,” we are saying not only “Bring balance to me, God” – we are also saying, “Help me bring balance to the world.”
For example, my child asks me for a third ice cream cone. What’s my response? I know he wants it, but the best answer is No. That looks like Gevurah (strictness) to him. But really it is Rahamim, balance with intelligence and love, because it is to prevent the child from a stomachache.
Or let’s say you visit someone in the hospital, and they are miserable. Is it your best approach to go in and cry with them? No. Neither can you walk in and tell jokes. You bring your mixing bowl. You bring Rahamim: mercy with intelligence, a blend of Gevurah (discipline, strength) and Chesed (loving-kindness).
Comment: It is a comfort to know that Mercy is pouring upon us, with all the destruction of that horrendous earthquake this week. It’s difficult to hear about this suffering.
Oh, yes. Suffering is real. You can’t tell the sufferer to look beyond their pain. They can’t do that. You would feel just as bad if you were in their place.
For your sick friend in the hospital, when you face this situation with Rahamim, you don’t need words. You don’t need to verbally support, defend, or avert their worries. You can just reach out and hold their hand. You bring love. You bring balance and mercy – Rahamim.
When you simply hold their hand, you bypass the whole ping-pong of thoughts that ask, “Will I get better? Won’t I get better?” You don’t even get into that.
You just offer your love.
Excerpted from chapter 3 of Volume 2, Walking the Bridge – With Balance.
Walking the Bridge Books 